A NEW BEGINNING

Several years ago, my husband and I first spoke about the future of our real estate company and the eventuality that he would step back and no longer pursue deals.  That reality would land me without a job.

Part-time deals were not going to be enough to keep me busy or engaged.  I didn’t want to do that business with someone else.  I loved the freedom and the lifestyle it has afforded us, but my true love for the business was the gift of my husband and getting to work side-by-side with him every day.

We live in an extraordinary time, this was an opening for me, this was going to be my time to create for myself anything I could possibly dream of.  Sounds amazing right?

PANIC STRICKEN

It sent me straight into a world of panic.  How do you decide when the world it literally your oyster and there are an infinite amount of choices?

Harder still, how do you decide when you don’t even really know who you are?  Sure, I was a wife, a mother, a great business partner—but I didn’t know who I was.  I had created a life that was shaped by everyone else’s opinions and ideas of what and who I ‘should’ be, without any regard to who I really was.

The thought of committing to just one thing and making the wrong choice was terrifying.  I seriously considered hundreds of options: being a personal chef, starting a “Mary Kaye” like business for women-except around meals, a foster parent, event planning, luxury travel agent, airline stewardess, going to school to get my law degree, a detective, gift shop, flower shop, home manager, personal concierge, interior designer, property manager, health advocate, kid’s taxi, bed & breakfast, crafting center, wellness center, image consultant, children’s bookstore, cooking school, wedding services, nutritionist, coffee & tea shop, purchasing gifts.

So you see my dilemma.

A CONTINUOUS PATTERN

I was also noticing a similar pattern in my personal life.  I was spending my days in the mind-numbing minutia of everyday life and grown-up responsibilities-desperate for a “day-off”.  When that “day-off” would finally present itself I wouldn’t know what to do.  I would wander aimlessly through the house, I would end up doing all the tasks I had wanted a day-off from.  I would sit to watch TV and become instantly restless.  “I should be DOING something” I thought to myself.  Yet the problem was I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do.

So here’s what I did.  I grabbed myself a little notebook, my ‘Little Blue Book’ and threw it in my purse.  Throughout the day I started noticing things I liked, things that piqued my curiosity, experiences I wanted to try, qualities in relationships that appealed to me and I wrote them down in my Little Blue Book.

tHE DISCOVERY

Here are some things that I discovered:

I love Yoga, I love moving and stretching my body in a fluid way that also helps clear my mind and make room so I can hear my inner voice.

I find animals to be fascinating.  I experience great delight when I sit and watch the different birds that come to our feeder.  I find wild animals are breathtaking and fascinating!  I experience great joy when I interact with our family dog—so I pet her and spend time with her a lot more.

I have discovered that I love to write.  I resisted it for a long time (Inner Mean Girl), and now I write for me.  Of course I hope moms will enjoy and learn from it, but it’s really for me and the pleasure it brings.

My life is very bleak without music.  Even something quiet, simply playing in the background as I move through our home makes me feel comforted and calm.

I have come to know that getting to work with other moms is one of the biggest blessings in my life.  Being in the company of and being able to support these courageous women fills me up like nothing else!

IT’S REALLY ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS

As you can see this isn’t just about something big like a career or your work in this world.  This comes down to situations like “what am I going to do on my day off”?  “What am I going to block in my calendar this week that is just for me?”

If you are feeling overwhelmed, like you just don’t have a minute to spare, or are feeling a tad resentful of the people around you;  I invite you to get your own Little Blue Book and open yourself to the magic it will bring.

My First Love