Have you noticed when your Inner Mean Girl shows up? Usually it’s when we are creating, trying something new, or when we are feeling unsure of ourselves. She shows up guns –a-blazing.
Sometimes her voice is so deafening, it makes it hard to move forward into the things that we truly want. It makes it difficult to think clearly, much less be able to foster an environment of creativity and inspiration.
I’ve gotten pretty good at managing my Inner Mean Girl over the past several years. I now know how to acknowledge that she’s making an appearance. Sometimes I give her the floor for a few minutes and listen to see if I can determine what the true fear is behind her words. Other times I simply recognize her incessant babble for what it is and I tell her “Thanks, but I’ve got this one.”
The most effective thing I’ve done with my IMG is to create a caricature of her. Since her words are so ridiculous, I’ve made her ridiculous.
I’ve named my IMG Chloe, she is an older lady, around 80. She is rather short, has a grey short-cut bob and startling blue eyes. Her skin is rather wrinkly and tanned from both being out in the Florida sun and the smoking, she has a gravelly voice to match.
When she speaks, she punctuates her words in odd places and she is pretty loud. When I picture her I see her in a tennis outfit, holding a glass of whiskey and a cigarette in one hand and pointing at me with the other.
Now that I’ve identified her, when I hear her I use my Inspired Statements like, “Oh good morning Chloe-I didn’t realize you were here. Thank you Chloe, I didn’t realize you were so interested in what I wanted to wear today. I so appreciate your point of view Chloe, but I’ve got this one covered, I’ve already made my decision.”
drunks and hysterical children
For years I vacillated between believing every word she said and fighting her with everything I had. But she only became meaner, more adept, and more skillful at keeping me stuck. You can never argue, rationalize or negotiate with your IMG—it’s like trying to reason with a drunk person or a hysterical child.
Anything worth doing will probably draw critics-both internal and external. And isn’t that really what we want to be doing-things that are worthwhile?
Our desire to be creative individuals and to grow is stronger than being held captive by our IMG.
Learn how to manage your Inner Mean Girl and enlist your own cheerleading squad along the way.
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Remember, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll get the same result. That’s why each moment you hesitate is another moment you’ll struggle with your Inner Mean Girl. Each day you are not implementing these easy shifts is a missed opportunity. If you are struggling with your Inner Mean Girl, contact me and I will send you a quick and easy, super effective practice to help manage her today.