Women have struggled and fought for a long time to become independent, and for the most part we have succeeded.

INDEPENDENCE AT WHAT COST?

This is especially true when you take into account that it really was a short time ago that here in America we were not considered much more than cattle, often times even less.  From this place and several of the feminist movements, we have been trained to do it all ourselves but at a huge cost.

We were not meant to go this alone.

Did you know that not all that long ago women lived in community together, not separated from each other? It is actually rather unusual that a woman, a man and their children live cut off and isolated from others. Women in community worked side by side; creating, cooking, taking care of their off-spring, worshipping, celebrating-all together, most of the time. Think about that for a moment and how it would impact and make your life different today.  We are better together – the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Not only were we not designed or meant to do it alone-we are not equipped to do it alone. We need the strength of others, just as they need our strength as well.

the false belief

I isolated myself for most of my life because I felt too ashamed to tell people the feelings of inadequacy I was having. I was afraid they’d see me as weak or incompetent.

We do it all, we feel unappreciated and then we won’t ask for help.

This belief that we are supposed to do everything ourselves is the root of a great deal of unhappiness. 

Our refusal to ask for help assumes that we know best, it comes at a cost to our connection with others.

Typically, it isn’t until a massive tragedy strikes when we have absolutely no other choice than to reach out and ask for help or have it forced upon us.

The blessings of your support team

Having a support team that you can depend upon is going to be a major breakthrough for you.  We all need help whether we want to admit it or not. There are so many proven benefits to having a support team;

a sense of belonging

increased sense of self-worth

feeling of security

higher levels of wellbeing

better coping skills

relieve pressure and stress

help you fulfill your aspirations

cheer you on

make it easier for you to stick to your personal commitments

more effective at work and home

less likely to feel overwhelmed

resilience to personal and professional challenges

celebrate with you

the magic of asking for help

Magic happens when you ask for help.  Opportunities arise that you never knew were possible.

You serve others in a very special way when you ask for help. 

Here are two things that you can do today to ease yourself into the realm of asking for help.

Identify something you need help with.  This could be help with driving the kids around, hanging a picture, getting your car washed, picking up take-out, you get the idea.  Now ASK someone to help you with it.  It can be a spouse, one of your kids, an acquaintance, your BFF, you could pay someone to do it!  It doesn’t matter how it gets done, just ask.

Next, look for an opportunity to offer your assistance to someone (the only caveat here is that you have to WANT to do this thing).  If you hear another mom lamenting how she needs to be in two places on Saturday—volunteer to handle a shift whole-heartedly. “You know, we would LOVE to have Samantha over on Saturday and watch her lacrosse match, let’s plan on that.”

People LOVE to help.  It makes them feel valued, important and treasured.  It feels good to help and it feels good to receive help.  Asking for and providing help builds a deep connection with another person.  It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you look incompetent.  A strong, competent woman recognizes all the possibilities in asking for help.

My Cape is Torn